


Bright Memories

by myhamartia



Category: Shingeki no Kyojin | Attack on Titan
Genre: Angst, Inspired by the American Revolutionary War, M/M, Mild Angst, Minor Character Death, Multi, Tumblr Prompt, flash backs, okay by Hamilton, reliving memories
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-05-11
Updated: 2016-05-11
Packaged: 2018-06-07 19:29:15
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,881
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6821113
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/myhamartia/pseuds/myhamartia
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Levi Ackerman, veteran from the Marian War for Independence lies injured on a hospital bed, his partner Eren at his side.<br/>Through strange flashbacks, Levi's life flashes before his eyes as he prepares himself to pass on from this life, his family - and his dear love.</p><p>Tumblr prompt: "Desperate, heartbreaking "Kiss me.""</p>
            </blockquote>





	Bright Memories

**Author's Note:**

> This was from a prompt that had been sitting in my inbox for upwards of half a year... I realize that I'm awful, thank you very much.
> 
> The prompt was a "desperate and heartbreaking "Kiss me.""

“Where is he?!”

 Levi heard the shout in the voice so familiar and flinched. He winced at the pain the action caused and struggled to let out a calming breath.

 “Is he alive? Please tell me that he’s alive.”

 Levi couldn’t hear the doctor’s reply - it was slow and low in pitch. Eren’s matched it in his reply. He released a painful breath. He wasn’t going to last long. He could feel it.

 He closed his eyes, if just for a second. When he opened his eyes again, Eren was sitting beside his tiny little hospital bed, brushing Levi’s sweat dripping hair off his forehead.

 “Eren,” he breathed, going to shift towards him, but stopped to gasp in pain.

 “Don’t move,” Eren told him, moving his hand to brace lightly against his shoulder. Barely any pressure on it at all. It was just to tell him that he was there. Levi inclined his head and leaned back against the bed again. Eren furrowed his eyebrows, looking down Levi with such emotion in his eyes. He opened his mouth briefly, and then quickly shut it as he seemingly thought better about what to say. Finally, he sighs and draws his hand away so it can tangle with the other on his leg. “We’ve sent for your mother,” he settles with. Levi draws in a deep breath. Fantastic. If the bullet wound doesn’t kill him, his mother will. “I sent her a message the second I heard,” he paused, giving a slight smile. “As I was leaving home, actually.”

 Levi grunted at the little effort to make words leave his mouth. “She’ll be pissed,” he whispered. His voice was groggy, and full of breaks and cracks that he couldn’t help. His mouth felt as if it was full of cotton filling, though the thought of water made him nauseous. The last time he had tried to drink he had barely got any down his throat. The rest simply spilled down his chin, and in turn his chest and down to soak into the thin mattress he lied on.

 Eren nodded, his teeth biting at the side of his bottom lip. Levi looked at Eren, struggling to focus his eyes. He was barely dressed, his shirt was sloppily thrown on and left untucked, his vest was buttoned oddly and out of sequence so that Levi briefly wished that he had enough strength to correct the man’s clothes. Eren’s hair was left to fall loosely around his shoulders and in his face.

 He hadn’t even taken the time to right his hair.

 Levi looked to Eren’s eyes. They looked so dark in the little light left by the oil lamps in the room. Eren’s face was dipped in shadow as he dropped his head forward to look down at Levi. His hair scattered around his face as if it were a curtain. Levi could see his chest rise and fall strange, uneven and fast in a strange repetitive sequence.

 He looked up to him. His eyelids felt heavy and started to slip shut.

No. No stay awake. Come on!

 No matter how hard he tried to open his eyes wider, they did nothing but slip closer together.

No dammit. Keep your eyes open.

 He swallowed, his breath speeding just a bit. He couldn’t open his eyes. His sight of Eren was disappearing. No! His lips cracked open, but the sound he tried to get out didn’t come. God, maybe if he-.

What was he thinking again?

 His thought process was slowing. His mind was fogging over. Soon his eyes were shut and his breathing slowed.

When his eyes opened, his was lying on something soft, though not at all comfortable. A stench filled his nose so that it screwed up. He grunted, bringing his hand up to hold his nostrils closed. His eyes were still closed, though his eyebrows furrowed. There was no pain in his side.

Oh god. Was he dead?

 No, Heaven or Hell, neither of them would stink  _ this _ much. He slowly opened his eyes.

 It took a moment for him to adjust to the glaring sunlight in his eyes. He took a deep breath and held it against the unknown stink so his hand could shield against the sun. His eyes darted around and his eyebrows drew together in a great confusion.

 He was in a stable. A dirty pen filled with manure, which explained the smell - though not much else. This stable - the little lean-to barely big enough to even be called a stable. It had three pens, only one taken by a little mule in the pen to the far right, it ate idly from a little bucket hooked onto the gate - was familiar to him. He  _ knew _ this pen.

 “What the ever living hell?” he muttered, pushing himself to sit up.

 This pen, he spent many nights curled in the corner among the dirty straw, working for the old man Kenny who owned the tiny farm on the outskirts of the Shiganshina colonies.

 He eased himself up to his feet and took a glance around. The mule lifted his head from the bucket and tossed a look to him before apparently judging him unimportant. As he looked back down his food in the little wooden pale.

 He stumbled out of the little shelter, his eyes never flicking around.

 He must be dead. There was no other explanation for this madness. Though, he couldn’t imagine this place being any type of afterlife.

He cursed, looking around. Everything was just as he left it - he paused for a second to do the small bit of math - sixteen, seventeen years ago. The little well still had the little black shingles nailed to the top of the roof above it, the shack of a house not far from the well still had the front shutters half hanging off the windows, paint chipping off them. The wood stack was still in the same damn pile. The same chickens clucking around like they owned the place, pecking the ground for little bugs.

 This was surreal. Just how he remembered this place.

 The thump of hooves against the ground and turned towards the sound to see the impossible.

 There were three people, two horses. Levi knew these people. One of them was supposed to be dead.

 One of the men he had known since he was born, the others he loved just as much

 There were two men, one woman. The first of the men was named Farlan. He was tall and blond. He’d gotten Levi out of many fights he’d gotten into with the kids in the little village not far from Kenny’s farm. He knew his way around a gun, which only aided in their later years.

 The man who was slung across his thighs was all too familiar. He was unconscious and his limp body bumped and jolted with the movements of the horse. His hair was tangled when he pulled it into a ragged, loose tie. It was greasy and had a few blades of glass and possibly a twig stuck behind his ear. His Marian uniform was tattered and torn, his jacket thrown over the neck of the horse, along with his belt and sword.

 The woman, a redhead riding the other horse wore a grim look on her face. Her lips were in a thin line and her brow was tense. Her gown was torn and very dirty. Her hair was picked clean of any debris, but was still in dire need of a wash.

 She was Isabel Magnolia, the widowed older sister of Eren Jaeger.

 She had the reigns of her horse tight in her hands as she pulled back, prompting the horse to slow. The speckled best had barely stopped before she swung down from the saddle. Farlan was a little slower in stopping his horse, but he was following quickly.

 “Hurry!” she called, tying her horse to the support post of the little well. Farlan dropped off his horse, with a hand steadied on the back of the man across his horse. He awkwardly wrapped his arms around the man’s middle and pulled him off the horse. He stood for a moment before strenuously heaving him over his left shoulder. Isabel waved him along and led the way through the little doorway in the shack.

Levi stood very still. This was impossible. He’d already seen this -  _ lived through _ this.

 Muttering confused sentences and random curses, Levi quickly followed through the door that was left open.

 He inhaled sharply at the scene. It was dark in the hut, much too dark for what they were doing. They had three tables, each with a man lying atop it. They were bleeding, two of them unconscious, the other was leaning up while a young man let him drink from a little wooden ladle.

 The young man was Levi. Near twenty years prior, he stood, sleeves rolled to his elbows (though that didn’t do anything, as dried blood was streaking all the way up his arms and was wiped around his shirt front) as he held the man’s head up at an angle so he could sip at the water. He looked up for a second, to look at they placed the third man on the last table that sat against the far wall. Several other men were huddled in the corners, most sleeping and resting against each other.

 These were wounded soldiers fighting for independence for the Marian Colonies.

 This farm acted as a middle ground for the allied wounded so they could come and get treatment and care and wouldn’t have to travel the ten - odd miles to the next military base to get care. They were an active sort of hospital post run by Levi, his mother Kuchel and his Uncle Kenny.

 “What’s wrong with him?” the young Levi asked Farlan just before he slowly set the man’s head back down on the rolled up shirt he was using for a pillow. His mother was in town with Kenny buying much needed supplies they were running low on. He hoped that this man didn’t have to have any type of surgery - because while he had a steady hand, he was not capable of any procedure the man might have needed.

Levi bit his lip.

 What was happening here? This was the day he met Eren - the man on the table. He was the one to dig a bullet out of his side and stitch him up. They waited all night long to see if he would make it or not.

 Isabel said it was all luck - that and his insane will to survive.

 Levi scrubbed at his eyes. He felt nauseous and his head was spinning.

When he took his hand away from his eyes, the scene had changed.

 A wedding.

 Isabel and Farlan’s.

 Levi was nineteen when this had happened; Farlan was twenty two and Isabel twenty three. They had spent a lot of time together after he and Levi managed to save her little brother’s life.

 The wedding was held in a tiny inn on the edge of Trost. There were no decorations, but it was still very special. Isabel’s mother and father had travelled up from Shiganshina, and Eren stood just behind her, a bright grin in place. Farlan stood beside Isabel, his arms crossed in front of himself. He wore his raddy army uniform - the best he had under the circumstances - and she wore a navy blue gown. They took each other’s hands with loving looks.

_ For heaven’s sake. _

 Levi’s fingers twisted into his pants as he watched the proceeding. He watched himself offer up Isabel’s ring while Eren did the same for Farlan’s.

 The officiant - tall brunette woman dressed in a Marian General’s uniform. She was General Zoe. Eren was stationed under her at this time, if Levi recalled correctly - gave her blessing as Isabel and Farlan gave the other their rings and she gave them their vows to recite.

Levi smiled at the two. They deserved nothing but the best.

 They finished with their vows and General Zoe paused for a moment, looking between the two with a fond smile.

 “You may kiss your bride,” she said at last. Farlan gives a breathy laugh, but it’s quickly swallowed as Isabel jumps for him, wrapping her arms around his neck and pressing her lips to his.

 Levi laughs despite himself at the two. These were his best friends and this was possibly their greatest moment.

 It was beautiful and he was grateful to relive it - even if he didn’t know how or why, or for even what purpose.

It happened as quick as a blink.

 It was midnight now. He stood in snow that nearly reached his knees. There was a sort of hushed shuffling ringing through the air: the crunch of snow and whispered voices. The creaking of a tree branch in the wind (or something heavier). A nicker of a horse and the little twinkle of gear binding horses to some sort of sleds or…

Carts.

 “Oh,” he breathed. He knew where this was. Suddenly every sound was magnified until they pounded in his ears. He couldn’t move fast enough - he launched forwards, struggling to get through the chilling snow. He tripped twice, his pants were soaked through quickly. He stumbled down the little hill he found himself on, his eyes wide and ever searching for the source of the sounds origin, though he  _ knew _ both where and came from and exactly what it was.

 The little road winding around the base of the hill was still and dark. He jumped from the little outcrop branching off over the road to the ground. He grunted on impact but quickly got up.

 He looked both ways for very few seconds before he was crossing the road and running along the fence that closed a snow covered farm field off from the road. His chest was heaving and his breath was fogging in front of his face as he went.

 At the end of the farmer’s land the road crossed over a river; the crossroads ran over raised bridges. That didn’t concern Levi. It was what was  _ under _ the bridges that concerned him.

 His feet slipped to a stop, lungs burning against the cold winter air. He was at the base of the bridge, hand on the guardrail just before he jumped down, splashing into the freezing water below. A shiver tore through him, but he kept forward, wading through the ice and squishy mud beneath his boots to the underside of the low bridge. He could see several figures huddled together. Little ripples made their way to him as the men under the bridge shifted against the cold.

 He remembered when he was under there. He was positive that he was going to freeze to death that night.

 None of the men paid him any mind as he approached.

 He could see them clearly now. There was three on either bridge support, all holding various types of weapons. Levi himself held a long rifle against his chest, his back pressed flatly against the bricks of the support pillar. Farlan, who was crouched across from him, whispered something to him. Levi remembered his exact words.

How could he forget?

 “I hear them. Are you ready?” (Levi let his eyes droop closed, listening intently for- That’s it. The clatter of horses and rickety wagon wheels coming 

 Levi nodded. Farlan grinned at him. They waited another moment. The clatter was getting closer with every second. Farlan slowly raised his hand - all eyes were on him. He flicked up his fingers, lowering them again. The six of them slowly stood, careful not to make any sounds as Farlan counted down and the Titans were now overhead.

Four.

Three.

Two.

_ One. _

 The young Levi pointed his rifle to the side, issuing one shot out into the water.

 It happened in seconds. Levi couldn’t do anything but stand in the water and watch - frozen.

 The army (those dear volunteer soldiers in the Marian militia) moved quickly, jumping from under the bridge and from where they were hidden in the fields behind bales of snow covered hay, from behind trees and fence posts. There was gunfire from both the Marians and the Titans. Screams of pain and war cries ripped through the air.

 Their mission was simple: overtake the wagon, which was full of weapons and gunpowder, and take out the squad delivering them.

 They took the wagon in mere minutes. They outnumbered the Titans by many.

 When the dust cleared, Levi’s breath caught in his chest. He couldn’t see Farlan up on the bridge when he heard the last gunshot, but he knew he was there. He knew where that lead bullet went. He heard his voice scream Farlan’s name (both younger and older versions) as the man stumbled back and fell over the rail of the bridge, falling into the icy water below.

 He waded forward, fighting against the mud he seemed to have sunk into, and the numbness settling in his bones. He knew how this plays out.

 He had barely gotten to Farlan as his counterpart jumped from the bridge into the water.

 Levi gripped Farlan’s upper arms, a hysteric glint in his eyes. “Farlan. Far, stay awake, come on!” he cried. His fingers dug into the sleeves of his coat, trembling horribly. His face was hot and his eyes welled with tears. He couldn’t feel the cold in his legs anymore. It was only numb.

 The younger Levi splashed up to them until he was able to hook his arms under Farlan’s armpits and drag him to the shore bank. Levi followed barely a step behind, his breathing was quick and his stomach was twisting and turning unpleasantly.

 “Farlan. Oi, Farlan, you idiot, look up at me. Look!” the young Levi prompted. He held both of Farlan’s cheeks and leaned down so he was but a few inches from the older man’s face. “You stay alive, you hear me?” He placed his head down and looked to his torso. Repressing a gasp, he ripped off his jacket, wadded it up and pressed it against the dark, angry red of the gunshot wound.

 “Levi,” Farlan gasped out. “Listen, I wan’ ya’ to tell Isa I love ‘er.”

 “Hey,” Levi watched himself snap. “Don’t say anything like that. You’re going to survive, got it? You’ve got a wife and- and a little girl to live for. You’ll pull through.” Levi looked back down to the wound, slightly lifting the jacket. He lifted his head and barked an order to one of the soldiers that stood on higher ground. The young man took off instantly, and Levi was looking back to Farlan, who already had his head lolling to the side, if a bit.

 “Lev-,” Farlan croaked. He raised a shaky hand up and put it heavily onto Levi’s. He smiled. “Give Emma h-her present for-or me.” Farlan’s breath hitched between some of his words, breaking them apart. Levi nodded and squeezed his eyes shut, inhaling sharply.

 Levi turned his hand over and held Farlan’s hand in his. Farlan gripped his hand for a moment, and then his grip relaxed.

Levi’s tears fell and he did nothing to stop them. He watched the scene that had kept him up so many nights and trembled. He released an uneven breath and let his eyes shut, dropping his head to his chest in quiet respect.

When he peeked his eyes open, he wasn’t staring at his boots in the river like before, but instead the toes of his boots standing on dry grass.

 He lifted his face to see a small, tent dimly lit by oil lamps.

 His eyes hardened as soon as he glanced around. This was the tent of Commander Erwin Smith, the soon to be elected leader of Maria. Levi took a deep breath. There was only one time that he was in this tent.

 He braced himself just in time for the tent flap to be flung open and a party of three stomp their way into the little space.

 “You’re a titan!” the young Levi shouted as soon as he came into the tent. He whirled around to face none other than Eren Jaeger.

 Eren stood firmly by the tent’s entrance, his fists balled at his sides, his bright eyes  _ furious _ .

 “I was  _ born _ in Titan! Dad was a Titan General over twenty years ago! He and mom escaped from there as soon as they could.” He scowled darkly at Levi, lip curled into a deadly sneer.

 Commander Smith stepped forwards from the sidelines. Levi had forgotten he was there. “Yes, Levi you need to-,”

 “How do we know he’s not a spy, eh?!” Levi demanded, rounding on Erwin and ignoring his previous words.

He hadn’t even realized that he spoke, Levi remembered.

 Eren neared him. His steps were short and measured. His jaw was set as he glared down at Levi, using his height against him. “If I were a Titan spy, there would be no way in heaven or hell that I would allow my sister to marry one of your like,” he said, voice in a low, venous tone that had only made Levi all the angrier.

Levi flinched from where he stood in the shadows of the tent folds.

 The young Levi standing in front of Eren had so much to mourn for. This was only a month after the death of Farlan. Tensions were high among the Marian troops as the Titans seemed to know their every move, and spirits were low at the many losses they had undertaken.

 Levi bit his lip and crossed his arms. He breathed deeply.

He didn’t want to see this. He didn’t want to see Farlan’s death. He didn’t want to see the miserable replay of his life that seemed to be going on. If he were to die on the hospital bed, he preferred just to die and be done with it than this foolishness that had enveloped him.

This time the scene changed before his eyes. The air around him seemed to swirl with color and smells and temperatures. When it stopped, he felt dizzy. He dropped his head and pressed his hands to his eyes roughly.

It was a tiny bedroom, barely enough room for a bed and chest of drawers.

 Eren and Levi lied on the bed, both looking to the ceiling, their hands intertwined together.

 A single candle light the room in a low, flickering flame.

This was a year before the war’s end, Levi realised.

 After he had accused Eren of being a Titan traitor, Commander Erwin had given orders to have him detained until he could better his temper, and his suspicions regarding the soldiers of Maria.

 Eren had came to the tent he was being held in, plate of food in hand and sat down with Levi. He explained everything calmly and apologized for his words about his deceased brother - in - law. Levi was silent long enough to listen.

 They became steady allies after that. After that, they became friends. After that… something a little more.

 “After this war is over,” Levi sat up from beside Eren. As he spoke his voice had a sleep-blurred tone to it. Eren’s hand slowly made its way to trace up and down on Levi’s spine, his fingers tapping along the vertebra. “Let’s get a house.”

 Eren hummed deep in his throat. “What kind of house?”

 Levi looked over his shoulder, a smile slowly spreading across his face. “A big one. With lots of windows.” He lied back down and curled into Eren’s side. He carded a lazy hand through Eren’s long, soft hair.

 Eren smiled in return. “And a nice balcony,” he added.

 “A big tree so that he can put up a swing for Emma.”

 Eren nodded. He dipped his head and caught Levi’s lips in a tiny kiss. “That sounds wonderful,” he breathed against his lips. The young Levi smiled and Levi remembered just how that kiss felt against his mouth.

 “I love you,” Levi murmured.

 Eren mimicked the words just before the world was spinning again. 

The twinkle of wind chimes and the rush of wind around him prompted Levi to pick his head up. (He didn’t remember when he dropped it) It was a beautiful little farmhouse resting upon a field. Trees lined the front walkway that traced through a little patch of woods and finally to the highway (which was more of a well worn path than a highway). The trees dotted around the land in strategic shading areas.

 A shocked little expression made it onto Levi’s face before he released a breath and he smiled.

 This was Isabel and Farland’s house. This is where Isabel raised their beautiful little girl Emma after his death. He walked the short way to the house, looking around constantly at just how  _ new _ everything here was.

 He slipped in the door in time to see a little blonde girl running down the staircase, an excited expression on her face. She held a white woven basket in her hand as the other traced along the banister. She twisted off the last step and continued running, though this time it was down the hallway.

 “Look!” She shouted in excitement, holding up the basket as she turned a corner, a beautiful smile on her mouth.

 Levi smiled despite himself and followed after her.

 He came to a large living room with light wood panelled flooring.

 Isabel was sitting on a cushioned chair, bouncing Emma in her lap as the little girl talked to the two men that sat on the couch situated across from them.

 “I’ll be the flower girl. I’ve got a pretty white dress to go with it, and I’ve got a basket!” she held up her white basket proudly with a large smile.

 Eren and Levi sat side by side on the couch, their hands intertwined on the cushion in between themselves.

 “If we ever get married, you are the first one on the list for chosen flower girls,” Eren promises, eyes bright with affection for the little girl of six.

 “Good,” Emma said with a resolute nod.

Levi sighed quietly and sat down on the other side of Eren as their conversation went on to something that Isabel read was bad for her garden in the paper the other day. Levi peered closely at Eren’s profile.

 He loved this man so much. They had been through so much, what with the war and afterwards.

 He felt as if he didn’t have enough time with him, as he didn’t have enough time with Farlan, or many of the other good friends he had lost during that unforgiving war.

 And now he was forfeiting any lingering time he had with Eren because someone had a lot to say about the nature of their relationship, and Eren being a Titan-born.

 Levi challenged the man to a duel after he insulted them. Eren hadn’t known about it. He wouldn’t have let Levi go if he had.

 Maybe that would have been a good thing, as Levi was currently lying in a hospital bed.

He twisted to the side with a sigh through his nose. He leaned against Eren’s arm and shut his eyes softly.

 He slowly felt the pain bleeding back into his side. His toes felt cold and his skin was clammy with sweat and grime. The back of his clothes were hot and gross as they stuck to him. The light, dim, though it was seemed to attack his eyes as he opened them.

 He rolled his head to the side. Eren was there, sitting in the chair just beside the bed, but he instantly moved to Levi’s side, eyes wide with worry and relief.

 “Levi,” he sighed, going to place a lingering kiss to his forehead. “Hi.”

 Levi tilted his chin up to better look at him. He opened his mouth, but the words he tried to form didn’t come out until seconds later.

 “Kiss me,” he breathed.

 He exhaled shakily. He knew that there was so much more time they could have shared. He threw it all away. God, if there was one thing in his life he regretted, it was that.

 Eren smiled down at him. It was soft and desperate and Levi wished that they had more time.

 Levi pulled away, his breath catching. He lied back against his pillows. He couldn’t hold on much longer. He was trying, but he honestly didn’t know how long he could last.

 Eren slowly leaned back. He picked up Levi’s hand again and squeezed.

 Levi swallowed thickly. His tongue felt much too big as he tried to form the word. Those three simple words.

 “I love you,” he choked out finally.

 Eren smiled back. It was shaky and his eyes were red and brimming with water. “I love you too,” he said quietly. “So, so, much.”

 Those were the last words Levi heard.

 The last ones he  _ wanted _ to hear.

 It’s true, not all of Levi’s life was full of good memories and his times was cut short… but there were good times in his life.

And they were the ones that shone the brightest.

 


End file.
